Sexy Saku
by missionquestthing
Summary: Sakura learns sexy Jutsu for a mission. How hard can it be to pretend to be a man? Apparently quite hard when you want to run for your life. SasuSaku if you squint and kakasaku if you choose to take it that way


_A prize for a contest on gaia. she requested a short, humorous, sexy jutsu saukra fic. I think I kinda faile. its not very short and its not that funny. despite that fact. I really like this story._

_---_

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Naruto

**A/N**: The naruto characters are somewhere in their late teens or early twenties in this fic. And, yes sasuke is back.

---

Sexy Saku

By: missionquestthing

---

I can't believe I'm actually doing this, Tsunade-sama owes me big for this one. "Naruto, I need you to teach me that stupid jutsu of yours."

"Which one Sakura-chan?"

I look around before answering to make sure nobody else was within hearing range. Seeing Sasuke-kun heading our way, I quickly pull us into a nearby alleyway. "Sexy no Jutsu."

I sigh as his eyes light up in excitement, "Of, course Sakura-chan!" Then he frowns, his brow wrinkling in thought, "But why do you need to learn it?"

Lowering my eyes, I mumble, "It is for a mission."

He scratches the back of his head, confusion written all over his face, "A mission?"

"Yes, idiot, a mission! Now are you going to teach it to me or not?" I shout a little too loud to suit my purposes of staying hidden.

He narrows his eyes at me but agrees.

A few hours later, I have mastered the technique...well sorta, Naruto is able to do the technique and appear either clothed or nude, depending on his purposes. I on the other hand always appear naked.

Now to test the effectiveness of the jutsu, I think that Ino would be the perfect subject for the test.

Naruto brings her to the edge of the forest to show her the 'boy' he found. I step out, short, spiky pink hair; deep emerald eyes; rippling abs; muscular arms, chest, calves; and a well positioned tree branch to hide my 'masculinity'.

Ino may be a kunochi, trained in hiding her emotions and surprise around a potential enemy but that doesn't stop her from staring –practically drooling.

I decide it is best to change back before she jumps me. At the sight of me in place of the hottie that had previously been standing there, her jaw drops and her eyes expand to the size of saucers.

"Th-That was you, Billboard-brow?!"

"Of course, who else has pink hair and green eyes?"

She begins to gag, I guess it must be alarming to be drooling over your best friend without knowing that it was her.

"Thanks for your help, piggy but I must be on my way now. Saku has a date. Bye!"

Gleefully I scoot off to the store to get some men's clothes. I settle on a pair of black shorts and a red muscle shirt before reporting to Tsunade to receive more information on my mission.

Apparently all I have to do is distract a female diplomat while my female teammates sneak into her office and steal a scroll.

I meet Tenten and Hinata at the village gates and brief them on the mission. The weapons mistress quirks her eyebrow at me, "why send three girls on this mission, wouldn't it make more sense to use an actual male to seduce the target?"

I sigh because I had asked the Hokage the same question myself, "It seems that she chose me because I am less likely to actually sleep with her as the males are. She is known for seducing even the strongest willed men."

Upon arriving at the diplomat's village I use the jutsu. Evidently Naruto is not the only sight that can make Hinata faint. Even Tenten is blushing. Maybe I should have been born as a guy. I get much more reaction this way then I ever do as a girl…of course my current nudity may have something to do with that.

I quickly slip on the clothes that I had bought and head towards the teahouse that the diplomat goes every day around this time.

Securing a table next to hers, I realize that I know nothing about picking up important women- or any woman for that matter.

As luck would have it, It seems I don't have to worry about that because she has came to join me at my table.

"So, are you new here? As a higher-up in this village I make it my business to know everybody and I have never seen you before," she remarks while leaning over oh-so-subtly so that her cleavage looks as if it is about to spill out onto the table, I feel like gagging.

"I'm just passing through." I say while shrugging my shoulders and trying to appear interested but not too interested in her advances.

"Care for a tour? I know all the best places in the village. Or would you rather accompany me to my home office?" she offers slyly while winking and leaning even closer to me.

Fighting the urge to punch her and run away, I ask, "Home office? Does that mean you practically run this village from the comfort of your own home?"

She laughs, "Of course not, I have another office for that. I use the one at home for more personal matters, if you know what I mean."

Man this woman is sleazy! How do guys actually go for this! Gross! Before I could reply, she leans over to my ear and whispers, "Come with me"

Allowing her to take my hand and lead me away, I can only hope that Hinata is watching this with her byukagan and will follow in pursuit while Tenten breaks into the high security office.

"OH!" she says suddenly, stopping in the middle of the street, "my name is Kunkida, may I inquire what your name is?"

"Saku," I reply, "Hatake Saku" I mentally cringe at the first surname that came to mind after my own and Sasuke's. Hopefully no one will ever find out about it.

"Okay Hatake-kun, lets be on our way." I mentally cringe again, "Please call me by my given name."

At this she smiles widely, "Can do, Saku-kun! And while we're at it, you can call me Kida-chan or (she smiles seductively) Kunkitty-chan."

Gag! You have got to be kidding me! "As you wish, Kida-chan."

She frowns slightly at the name I chose to call her before retaking my hand and dragging me to her apartment.

I glace around said apartment as I slide off my shoes; this place is HUGE! Life certainly isn't fair.

Before I have time to fully take in the details of the room, I have been pushed back against the closed door and she is kissing me.

Ewwww! I fight the urge to vomit and begin to kiss back, trying to convince myself that she is really Sasuke-kun. Which is really hard because her enormous breasts are pressed into my chest.

Her hands find my stomach and she begins to trace the muscles that even I must admit are quite attractive. My own hands stay firmly clutched to her hips neither pulling her closer nor pushing her away, despite how much I wish I could do the latter.

She leaves my mouth to begin kissing my neck as her hands slide down my stomach, down to my- I catch her wrists and try to chuckle. "A bit hasty aren't we, Kunkitty-chan?" That name leaves a foul taste in my mouth as I utter it but it seems to have done the trick.

She backs away a little and grabs my hand again, this time leading me to her 'office' which- surprise, surprise- turned out to be her bedroom.

Leaving no time for words, she once again kisses me as she guides me over to her bed and pushes me down. Her hands migrate to my stomach once more, this time sliding upward to remove my shirt.

I let her take it off and enjoy the brief pause from being molested as she takes in the sight of my stomach.

Satiated with the view, she leaned down to once again kiss my neck. Deciding that I Have been tortured long enough and that Tenten should have surely gotten the scroll by now, I reach around her neck like I am going to untie her top before knocking her unconscious.

Moments later Hinata comes in and deactivates her byukagan. Blushing, she helps me move the unconscious lady off of me without hurting her and then hands me my shirt.

"I was worried that you were going to give in and I REALLY did not want to see that," she mutters before stating clearly, "Tenten has the scroll and is waiting outside the village for us. I suggest you turn back into a girl now."

I nod before stripping off my male clothing (so they would not disappear) and releasing the jutsu.

When we arrive at the forest Tenten is grinning devilishly, "Nice of you to join me Hinata-chan, Hatake-san."

Oh, I guess she heard that. "DON'T call me that and DON'T tell anyone! Please!"

"Whatever you say Hatake-san"

-owari-

---

_Please **review**! Written/typed between 12:30 and 2:30 in the morning. Hopefully there are not to many errors. _


End file.
